Ballerina Dreamer

It’s been a while followers. Can I just say I’ve been busy. On April 1st, I moved. I’m a big girl now. I moved from my families home (brother and his wife) into an apartment with a roomie. This roomie was a known person. A friend of a friend of my brothers. I’ve known her a while. I believed it would be a good fit. But recently I’ve discovered it is not such a positive fit. So I’m already looking to move out. Into a place on my own. This means potentially a bit further from my siblings. Which saddens me, but also excites me to a degree.

Besides moving, I quit my two jobs and got a new one MUCH closer to where I lived now. Instead of an hour commute in bumper to bumper traffic, it now takes me 25 minutes in ZERO traffic. This job started yesterday.

Thirdly… I met a man. This man totally interested me from moment one. More on this love story another time. Currently, it’s not so much of a love story though. I feel like I messed up and I ruined everything and this upsets me… more than anything. It sucks to feel like a pure moment of weakness can ruin so much positivity in ones life.

ANYWAYS. Since that moment of weakness, I have been trying decently hard to get back on track. Today, after getting home from work, I ate 5 massive chocolate chip cookies………..and then! .. started dancing. I put my old ballet shoes and tutu on. And just BLASTED pandora (sorry roomie, not sorry). I needed this. I still need this. I need more things like this in my life again. REGARDLESS of what happens in my love life.

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Those are really my feetsss. 

I titled this post Ballerina Dreamer because at one point in my life (about 3 years ago) I realized that I had always wanted to try dance. Ballet always intrigued me. It was so beautiful and peaceful, so what did I do? I signed up for a ballet class at 21. This class had women in their 40’s who had done ballet their whole life and wanted to continue using ballet as a way to exercise. And then there was me. A “little girl” who had never done this before. With my brand new shoes and attitude.

 

Dancing tonight reminded me that I use to be such a go-getter. I would have an idea, and go out and do it. I haven’t been that girl in a while, and I miss it. I need her back.

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