I Will Now Self-Destruct in 3..2..1

What a day. I woke up incredibly angry this morning. At myself. At the world. At the cards I’ve been dealt.

The day went on. Things just made me mad. I took a nap, and still, angry.

I am incredibly self-destructive. And I’ve known this to be true. For years. Some better than others, some, like this one,  started out with bad decisions.  Day one.

I can’t stop myself. Sometimes its to cope, sometimes it’s to “live my life to the fullest”…like that’s a fucking excuse. 

I don’t know if I want to change. I don’t know if I’m ready to accept and feel the pain I’ve been blocking out. I just don’t know a better way to cope, then to drown out my worries with pain.
Meet self-destructive me:

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